what i'm actually thinking about right now is my father.

i told him i am going to be NOT going down on thursday, but on friday, which is the day i originally was planning on going until he told me i was mistaken the day before.

'work won't let you off, huh?'

for a second my world stood frozen solid still and the cellphone started melting like an ice cream sundae and i knew I KNEW i swear i knew that this was it. the moment.

'no dad.'

'my cousins are coming the same weekend and i want to see them before i come down'

you do realize, my friends, my darlings, what i just did. i can break it down for you.

1) i said no to my father
2) this was not because i 'couldn't help it', it was because i wanted to do something else, geez, for a change.
3) the something else was see my mother's side cousins
4) i put my mother in front of my father
5) i specifically choose my mother over my father and declared my eternal allegiance to destroying my father and everything he stood for.


obviously he did not take it very well.


the tapes, they tell me my father is a controller.

well thanks tapes i noticed. why do you think i run away far away from him and play orphans in the woods? it is not exactly an accident.