magic

so much has happened in one month

should i have written it down?


sometimes internet you scares me. when are you a beautiful place to share pictures and words and my heart, and when are you a replacement for life? an extension of life? an beautiful exaggeration of life that is impossible to be true?

(right now i have a confession internet. i don't want the photographer that we have. i could probably do without the dj too. but the photographer, he is a friend. and his pictures are boring.)

how do i explain this to you? i want magic. other people have magic.

the problem is i go to the taj and there is no magic. people promise its there but i can't find it. then afterwards they tell me that it was there and we saw it and
i want to believe them

but where? where was it?

maybe it was looking through the mirror to see a reflection of a person i know. maybe it was in behind the pillows that were sparkling and twisting in place. maybe it was in the curtains. maybe it was in the free pumpkin foods and the absurd karaoke and the silly stories ---

see i am doing it. i am creating magic for you.

let us be entirely clear:


there was no magic.