my hands are sticky. the house smells like bleach. and the sewer. my heart is squishy. there are three bruises on my legs. my pink shirt has chocolate on it. three million clothes are on the floor. my house now includes four gnats. there is no longer air conditioner ( i wasn''t using it, but it makes me feel pathetic, regardless ) the outside is loud. the inside is louder (c'est incroyable, mais vrai ) . i am not wearing socks.

these are all things i want to change.


but i am le tired.


today did not go as planned. the letter i wrote did not go as planned. i think i write too much of myself into my letters and i spend the rest of the day feeling grumpy.

i know that if i just start everything will be okay. i hope that if i just start everything will be okay.